Here is what I wrote on the board before starting this long yarn:

Hi, my dear friends *o*
I have been reading in my old dairies and found out that exactly two years ago today - May 17 1999 - a scared Dane sat at a free computer at her beloved public library and posted her very first post at this bulletin
That Dane was me *O*
So in order to celebrate this anniversary - since I can´t serve you wine and cake and such as I would love to do - I have written a story *o* A looooooooooong story ...
Well, this post is signed by Meeps so what did you expect -o* ? 
And just to be fair I think, I also have to warn you; this mile long piece of boredom - or at least silliness -O* - is set in a fantasy world with dragons, witches, magic objects ... You name it *O*
But - I have been thinking - if you don´t like that couldn´t you then pretend that the dragons are just very powerful humans?
And when I am talking about flying on dragons you could imagine that said dragon is just a human who has a private plane - or a small helicopter perhaps - and we are flying in that *o*
And when I talk about a troll it is just ... eh, no - I won´t make any more suggestions or I´ll end up telling you the whole story here -o* So I´ll just cross my fingers and hope that as many people as possible will accept my gift - that is, read my story - made just for you *o*
Maybe you will also complain about the story being about my imaginary Johnny and ... me ... But I have tried to let said imaginary Johnny do and said things I think the real life Johnny Depp would say and do if he should ever land in the crazy situations I am dragging my Johnny through here 'o*
This my suppose knowledge of what Mr. Depp would do or not do is of course based on all the many interviews placed on this wonderful ´site and his choice of movie roles over the years.
Some of it is even based on those roles he didn´t chose -O*
I just felt easier to have "Johnny" do and say things to me if he was my imaginary Johnny instead of having to feel uneasy about Ms. Paradise feeling offended or something because her man said sweet things to me ...
But this my long epos may say more about me than about Johnny Depp himself ... For which I humbly apologize - then again ... It was my daydream. My imaginary romp through things I love. And who better to come with me through all that than the guy we all love *O*
Mr. John Christopher Depp !!!
Or rather my invented version of that American masterpiece, that is - Johnny Magpie Sweets *o*
After all this explanation and eating all this "crow" this magpie wants to dedicate this story to you, my friends, who has made these two years so unforgettable *o*
And to our gracious host Vicki McKay *O*
Thank you very much for having us play around here *o*
And - do I dare - to my sweet inspiration: (drum roll, please -o* ) His Royal Cuteness Johnny Depp *O*
If you still want to open your present after all this please start HERE! for the first of eleven chapters *o*
I´ll post a new one each day for the next eleven days - also Saturday and Sunday. And hope very much you will enjoy the whole darn thing ...
Tshe *o*