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A dragon and a knight in VERY shining armour.
This is still a fictional story, O.K.? Tshee *o* O.K. Iīll shut up and tell it *O*
... how do one when do that by the way?? Shut up and talk ... -O*
Welcome back, people *o* Please take a seat and
... sorry for the spread to day -_- I have not had time to shop and have only some cookies and crackers. But
thereīs chocolate in both *o* Eh - well ... Here is some apple and cherries - oh, and a whole bag full oranges *O*
And Iīve put the kettle on *o* So please make yourselves comfortable and listen to my tallish tale ....
Eh - yes,
we were in the wizard of Ozī hall talking to his butler -o* And Johnny had left to fight a dragon ...
After some
very deep breaths and a little glass of brandy I got up and pulled at Amaritza "Come on ! Hurry !!" I sort of screamed. "Oh,
donīt you worry" she drawled in that irritating calm fashion of hers "There isnīt that male dragon hatched yet I
canīt lick with my tail tied between my legs"
She really did put it like that - and she is probably right too - even though
I sort of hate to admit it -o* The females of the specie are deadlier than the males or something like that ...
And Amaritza being a red dragon to boot is bigger and stronger than most anyway. How then I got the strength - and courage
- to drag the fearful wo - beast - off with only a Iīm afraid a bit impolite "Bye-bye, Mr. Jackson!" to
the butler Iīll never know. Ehm, maybe she was getting worried about Johnny too and let herself be dragged off. But of
course didnīt want to show her fear. One have a reputation to uphold as a dragon after all -O*
Just outside the city gate
I said - no, commanded - "Change into your dragon scales at once. So we can fly there! Maybe that way we can catch up
with Johnny and stop him!! ... and then you are very welcome to fight Yackatoota if you like. That is internal dragon business,
after all"
But Amaritza said, she had no beef with the colossal firefly. Of course as long as he hadnīt harmed her Johnny,
that is. With that statement she did change though and I climbed on board and grabbed a firm hold in her mane and
closed my eyes.
After having flown for a little while Amaritza rumbled "Care to tell me what all that talk of courage was
about? I am quite sure you havenīt called my Jo ... called Johnny a coward ... He is not, you know!"
Now "coward" is a
very bad thing to call a dragon, so I was extremely carefully how to word my response "No, I - eh - didnīt.
But - Johnny kept insisting that was what I really meant. Donīt you know those arguments - where the other part gets
into his - or hers, I guess - head that he knows the subliminal message behind the word? Even though thereīs no such
message ... Or a totally different message all together?"
I could feel Amaritza nodding her big head. So I tried to explain
a bit further. That I am interested in a lot of things. And among them war and murder and mayhem.
Strange interest for
a chicken, you might said. But I am interested in why people does the terrible things they do ... Feel I really need to understand!
And O.K. - I admit it *o* I do like a fast well-told plausible action movie too *O* Although I have become
rather picky in that area as I grow older ...
And all this had Johnny - being a bit sad and cold and insecure at
that moment - gotten mixed up in his sweet head. And he had "brewed" the idea together that what I really wanted
as a boyfriend was a Sylvester Stallone-type of guy instead of a boring bookworm as himself. His words - certainly not
mine! I adore my little not-at-all-boring sweet book ... person? He *o*
"Really ..." Amaritza mumbled. But I could hear
she wasnīt mad at me. And probably not at her darling - but at the moment silly - Johnny either. She could probably forgive
him anything - I know I can !!! So we flew on. Me holding on to her for dear life with my eyes firmly closed.
But
even firmly closed eyelids couldnīt keep out the flashes of light that shone up from the ground a bit later. And when
I cautiously opened my eyes a little bit and peered down I saw a knight in a very shiny white armor trying to clamber
up on his very white horse, while a gold dragon - wearing stylish Ray Ban sunglasses to ward off the glare from the sun shining
off the armour - were advancing on him. Spitting a ball of fire about two meters behind the knight so his horse got even
more difficult to mount.
Suddenly the dragon stopped though and pushed the sun glasses a bit down on his nose so he could
look over them before he drawled "Hadnīt you - I say, hadnīt you noticed I am taller than that there rose bush and can
easily look over it - right down at you, my dear boy?"
The "dear boy" was my sweet Johnny. Squatting behind a
big rose bush full of bright red roses.
Amaritza also saw him and swooped down beside him roaring a powerful - and not
that polite worded - challenge at the gold dragon.
The knight had finally manage to get on his horse. And left in
a gallop with a disgusted "This is rapidly become a Mission Impossible !! Trust Depp to ruin any half decent action
scene !!"
Tom Cruise has taking up dragon killing ???
But then Johnny got to his feet and I quickly forgot the
superstar for my own private little sun.
"Eh ... yes - well ... excuse me, Sir. I just didnīt want to interrupt your -
erm - business with Tom - eh, Mr. Cruise there. ... especially since I was not sure I could have done
any difference anyway. But - but - before you make me into toast ... Shh, my darling Amy!! Wait a bit, dear ... I just have
a question; Eh - why - ehm - do you guard - and risk your life for a wom ... a female human ... who can never
ever lay your eggs and help you rear the hatchlings?"
"A - hmmm!" Yackatoota - the gold dragon with the Ray Bans - scratched
his head looking rather bewildered "If you put - I say, put it that way, my dear fellow, I am not sure sure why
I am doing it ... 'cause I promised to do so, I guess. But king Mordacai never mentioned that there would be knights
here trying to make me into some kind of dragon kebab ... Just that I should guard princess Irma until she
was married ..."
Here the golden dragon scratched his chin and looked embarrass "I guess Iīve been rather - I say, been very
naive, you might say, kid ... I am all for watching out for people who canīt protect themselves. But that there
pesky knight in that awfully shining armor did mention something about fighting me to the death so he could marry the princess
... And I donīt much believe he was referring to his own death - do you? ... I am just a very stupid dragon, it seems! Because
knights and dragons have been killing each other since old Saint George ...Thank you - I say, thank you very much for
opening my eyes, my dear boy! Now if youīll excuse for a moment. I want to quit this job right away!"
With this the dragon
turned and went over to talk to some people standing in front of a small castle in the background. And they were
quickly arguing in fact. Especially a fat little man with a ridiculous huge golden crown almost falling down
over his nose and a gorgeous blond woman - looking no more than twenty at the most - who stood in front of the rest
of the people - seemed outraged because of what the dragon said.
I on the other hand slid of Amaritza in a hurry and
ran over and hugged Johnny. He was trying to light a cigarette with shaking hands. So I help him with that. And then hugged
him again just to make sure he stayed hugged.
He seemed very tired and leaned gratefully against me whispering "Youīre
right, baby girlie ... I am a real coward. When the dragon started talking to me I almost ..."
Here I rudely
interrupted him with a great big kiss and said "But that was NOT what I said - called you, baby !! You were brilliant a moment
ago. And I think, it takes great courage to admit to being scared ..." Here the gorgeous blonde interrupted me with
a voice sharp enough to cut diamonds and without as much as a "By your leave" Really - some people!"
"You - you -
common commoner!!!" she screamed. Showing that she needed glasses. Johnny is anything but common. But maybe she meant
me ... Anyway - she went on a bit lower "You just couldnīt stay out of it. Let Sir Lancelot kill the dragon as he
was suppose to!!! Do you know how my fellow princesses will mock me when they find out!?! They are already looking down
on me because my grandfather made a fortune in toilet paper and - and ... You have to have a dragon to guard
you!! And then you marry the knight who is brave enough to kill the beast!!! Everybody knows that - but you just HAD TO come
and meddle and put silly ideas of eggs and what-do-I-know into that idiot dragonīs head!!! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE !!!!!"
"Ye-yes.
B-but the dragon also wants to li-live and breed - br-breath, I mean" my scared brave stammered. "And what if he had ki-killed
the knight? ... you just shrug?? But Tomīs mum ... I mean Sir Lancelotīs mu .. mother - every knight has a mo-mother or someone
else who want him to live instead of - of dying just because you and your fellow princesses think itīs funny - or fashionable
or something! People do not want to die - neither humans nor dra-dragons"
"Bravo, my sweet!!" I said and kissed Johnnyīs
cheek. But the young woman screamed in fury and stormed forward with her hands ready to grabbed Johnnyīs
throat. I quickly dragged him backwards almost tripped us both doing so.
Then Amaritza long strong tail tip snaked
out. Grabbed one shapely royal ankle and hoisted the whole five feet of princess upside down up into the air sputtering
and kicking and swearing a blue streak.
"Amy ..." Johnny sighed "Who do you play at being? Xena or another warrior princess
or something ... Put her down, darling. ... gently!! Not just drop ... Hmm - too late. Here, Your Royal Highness. Please,
let me help you - OUCH !!?!! No need to hit me, I am sure!?!"
Amaritza started to rumble something about Johnny allowing
her to spank the royal bottom thoroughly. But before Johnny could decide one way or the other I suddenly noticed ten to thirteen
soldiers with very effective looking modern submachine guns coming at us at a run.
Yackatoota came up to us at the same time
and said "Hi, folks, what say you, if we - I say, if we split - right away? Those soldiers look like they mean business.
... yes, my dear Amy, I know you can beat them as easily at scratching ... But still - you might end up dead too. Dragon scales
are not totally bulletproofed, my darling ray of sunshine"
Now only Johnny has ever been allowed to call the formidable
Amaritza by the pet name of Amy. But luckily for Yackatoota said Johnny moved over and helped me up at Yackatoota before Amaritza
could say - or roar - anything. And then he jumped up at Amaritza himself.
The little sweet show-off almost slid
down on the other side, but his darling Amy managed to catch a hold on him with her many-purposed tail-tip
and get him upright on her back. And then Johnny - very appropriately -O* - yelled "Letīs get our tails out of here"
I
started to say I donīt have a tail - as such. But Yackatoota jumped into the air at that moment and I shoot my eyes and mouth
and hung on for dear life - again.
But could we please close this story telling department here till tomorrow? Weīve
run out of crackers and cookies and other nice things and my voice is disappearing too, so - same time and place tomorrow?
Good *o* Bye-bye then *O*
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