Aaaah, nothing like a well spiced leg bone *o* Don´t you agree? ... how I can eat chicken with such delight when I am a chicken myself? Well ... don´t you think Gilbert eats grapes!! He -o*
I am just a human chicken, I guess *o*
... could you pose a less difficult question to answer, please !!! He *o*
Eh - yes, I suppose I could continue the story while we eat ... But some of the audience went to McDonald´s and some down at the locale and ... Well, I am a witch and can gather the troupes - and their food too -o* Just a moment ...
Where is that knitting needle ... No, darling, one of the big one - yes, a number six *o* This is a tall order in a tall tale so we need a powerful wand -O* Here we go - shirack elpoep rehtag ereh ... Oh, that magic language is hard on the throat!
But here we all are *o* Are y´all settled and comfortable? Oh - you spilled coke down your t-shirt because I moved you without warning - O.K. ... Sorry - nealc! There you go. Your t-shirt is clean and smelling of roses -o* And where were we in the story - oh, yes, the pawn shop ...
We stood outside said pawn shop and had just decide to pawn the most valuable of Johnny´s ring so we could get money for a room at the inn. But before we could enter the shop a high voice suddenly sang out "Hey! Fancy meting you here!"
It was Puck. The high spirited fast-as-the-Roadrunner fairy who tried to help king Oberon in A Midsummer Night´s Dream.
>Something he later regretted very much to have done. "You should never get mixed up in married people´s problem" he once confided in me. And I whole heartedly agree! I even try to stay out of my own problems if I can -o*
"Ah - wonderful" Johnny exclaimed happily - hoping his rings were safe *O* "Can you help us to get home to our little cottage in the enchanted wood, Puck? As you can see we left home a bit abruptly so Meeps didn't get to bring - eh, that is a long story I´ll tell you later - but Meeps don´t have her usual tartan backpack with her which contain all the magic"
Puck said, he was quite sure he could help. Especially if we would be kind enough to go to Stonehenge just north of town where all the magical power lines on Avalon meets and the magic is therefore extra powerful and easier to manipulate. Puck was pretty sure, he said, that he could get us home from that spot before we could say "three poor white doves in a canary-size cage"
But first the fast fairy had to get two bottles of absinth for Falstaff - eh, Sir John Falstaff, of course -o* So would we mind going ahead to the henge and wait for Puck there.
So off we went again.
Padding rather slowly and tiredly down the now closing market street and out north of town. We took turns carrying the sleeping tot. Even got a lift some of the way by two female trolls - named Tina and Molly - dragging a huge wagon which had earlier been filled with carrots. Those two were as charmed by my Johnny as everybody else -o*
But finally we could see the big stones just up ahead ...
Now maybe I better explain ... Stonehenge on Avalon in my imagination is not ruined as its real life counterpart. All the stones are where they are suppose to be - standing and laying - and looking both handsome and impressive.
It is also very much in use for different purposes. So that evening we went inside the stone ring very quietly so as not to disturb the druids chanting at the big full moon up in the sky. I sat down leaning against one of the uprights with Yasmina on my lap and Johnny leaning against my shoulder. And in a matter of minutes we were all three fast asleep.
... I wonder if the druids gets offended now? I am not saying their worship is boring. It is just that we were so very tired *o*
But suddenly somebody kick my shin and yelled "Wake up, you bitch!"
I really resent that!!... I am not a dog!! I am a chicken!!! And why insulted the dogs too by using the word bitch as - eh, sorry - I got sidetracked ... Back to the story *O*
Then I felt Vivian La Regina´s magic start to move us away and I thought "Oh, no, not again ..." But yes - again ...
I heard the druids protest in the back ground. But in a moment we ended up on the same windy narrow rock ledge. At the "back door" to Speem´s cave ... But this time the weather had cleared up somewhat and I could now see the top of the cliff some twenty feet up and a small mountain lake below.
And I could hear Johnny had clearly woken up too because he was arguing fiercely with Vivian. And even yelling "Shut up, you stupid cow!!" at princess Irma Husgood which just goes to show how mad - and scared - he was. Johnny tries very hard not to use foul language in front of other women. To me he says what comes into his mind - with more or less clean words though since he claims I am even better at swearing than he is ... And he´s probably right about me and swearing too - but that is quite another story -o*
Vivian seem quite taken back when she found out that the force-ring was gone. Johnny was smart enough not to say how it had been removed from his finger. And that it was burning a hole in my pocket at the moment ... Yasmina was crying with her eyes tightly shut having gotten scared by being so suddenly woken up - the poor little thing ... - so the two awful women hadn´t yet noticed the tell tale cat eyes that shows she is a sweet little djinn.
And I decided it better stay that way as long as possible since the ... women might otherwise consider Yasmina just as great a prize as the Holy Grail. Magic wise, that is. So I stayed on the ground hugging the child to me. Comforting her all I could. But trying to keep her face turned away from the "ladies"
Suddenly that little ... anyway .. princess Irma drew her small gun out of her purse and pointed it at me and the child. "You shut up yourself, you conceited male chauvinist!! (Johnny is many things - but THAT he´s definitely NOT ! ) Or I´ll shoot your precious hooker (huh?) and her wailing brat ..." That made Johnny shut up at once of course though I can see he had plenty more to say - yell and scream.
Oh, why hadn´t I listen to Raistlin in time and learned to use the magic independently of wands and rings and - and ... ALL THAT JAZZ !!! Even though it is of course much more difficult that way to manipulate the magic ... If I could I would happily have turned the little brat upside down and shook some sense in to her if possible - and then ...
I didn´t get any longer in my plan for revenge because suddenly something very fast shot past Vivian and the princess and ripping the wand and the gun out of their hands. The "thing" continued with super sonic speed up into the air were the ball of lightning stopped and turn out to be Puck.
Turning around on his stomach in the air propping his head up on his hand and swinging his feet up in the air like a bored teenage girl trying to look cool on her bed.
A second later we could hear the sound of two pair of big dragon wings flapping closer and Amaritza and Yackatoota rounded the mountain and hovered just above the ledge.
"HURRAH !!!" I thought
"Now-now, behave yourself, young lady" Puck teased. And then continued "Care to do the honours, Amaritza?"
I wondered for a moment how the dragon was suppose to blast Irma and Vivian into crisp bacon without hitting the rest of us. But "Amy" swooped down and grabbed Irma - none to gentle, I am afraid - in her front paws. And Yackatoota followed right smartly in the footsteps - so to speak - of his lady love and snapped up Vivian. The dragons flew straight down and dropped the women in the - hopefully icy cold - mountain lake down below. And we could hear Amaritza yelled so it echoed among the mountains "And you´ll stay away from Johnny and his Meeps or I´ll make you sorry you were ever hatched !!!" And Yackatoota rumbled something sounding like "And I´ll help - I say, I´ll help her"
... now I won´t blame Amaritza for forgetting in a moment´s fury that humans is not hatch - will you *o*?
Johnny came over and sat down shaking all over and hugged both me and Yasmina as close to him as he could. I think I was shaking too and we were crying all three of us ... More or less loudly -o* A moment later Amaritza was back on the ledge. Changing fast into her human shape since there wasn´t room enough for a dragon up there. And asking in a much more tender tone of voice than I thought her capable of "Are you O.K. sweetie? ... they didn´t hurt you either, Meeps - or the child?" Then she sounded a bit bewildered "How come you two are babysitting out here in the middle of nowhere ..."
So we told our rescuers that we were not hurt psychically - just rather shook up by the experience. Then we tried to fill each other in on what had happened since we saw each other last. It turned out Puck and the dragons had met each other at Stonehenge moments after Vivian whisked us away. And the druids had told them what had happen to us - which made them able to come just in time and save us.
Yackatoota grinned "Those venerable bearded gentlemen and the little old grannies at Stonehenge were almost as hopping mad as that there - I say, that there baby-squirrel on Skadeland island. The baby-squirrel complained very loudly about some very dumb humans who had stolen her darling big cutie pie"
Here Johnny blushed very thoroughly and threatened to do something yucky to Yacka´s tail some day involving sticky syrup and gaudy coloured parrot´s feathers among other things such as empty tin cans tied to strings. But my sweet cutie also look rather happy.
Amaritza tried to keep the conversation serious by telling us that the baby´s mother had heard Vivian and Irma mention Speem. And when the mother squirrel told the dragons that they had hurried after us hoping to reach us in time to stop us entered that crazy dragon´s lair.
But they just saw Vivian and Irma disappearing very fast by magic from the ledge because they had spotted the dragons approaching.
So Amaritza and Yackatoota laboured round the mountain intending to go in through the larger entrance to find us. Even if that meant they might have to fight Speem. But they arrived at said larger entrance just in time to see us scrambling over the gully and into Tussy´s space truck. Which they of course were not fast enough to follow.
But Yackatoota guessed we were heading for Avalon. As he said; it was the logically place in that neighbourhood to go looking for magical people. ... maybe that was how Vivian and her nasty sidekick found us too the second time - by just looking around at Avalon?
Since Amaritza had no better idea they flew to Stonehenge to ask for us. Unfortunately arriving just a little too late.
And Amaritza blamed herself severely for that. But then took one look at the largest cutie pie in my arms and said "You look like you would like to go home, sweetie" And Johnny answered in a rather tired peevish sounding voice "Boy, if you only knew how much ..." Yackatoota couldn´t help laughing fondly at Johnny. And the rest of us smiled too.
Johnny looked up at us and reading our smiles correctly said with a wry smile of his own "It´s Meepsie´s fault really ... She keeps calling me "Baby" so you can´t blame me for sounding sometimes like a spoiled example of that there smaller kind of humans"
... that little ... sweet cheek *O*
Then he added with a very loving smile to me "You see ... she also spoils this "baby" so much that he´ll never ever want to grow up and move away from Mumsy Meepsie" ... can one help loving that guy? So I kissed him. And then asked the dragons and Puck if they would please get us HOME !!! I am a bit spoiled myself, you know -o* By an expert known as Johnny *O*
And they laughingly agree to obliged the spoiled pair. And since they were three to do so it was relatively easy for them to move us magically home to our very own front door.
Johnny went across the road and told the troll family at Bill Bob´s house that we were safely home. Just tired. I meanwhile tried to persuade the dirty little sweetie to take a quick shower with me - and to my amazement succeed ... He *o*
Johnny on the other hand has seen and heard me clean my self, the house and other things magically so often he just when returning to the house picked up one of my wands and pointing it at himself said "Nealc!" and was clean.
Now why didn´t I think of that?
And that little episode made me think that maybe Uncle Hermes is right - Johnny is just as magical as the best of them. Yes, well - he is very, very magical! And what Uncle actually said was that my Johnny is magic itself on two shapely legs ... Tshee *o* But my boy has always said very firmly "Nope! I am just an ordinary guy!!"
But the rest of us sees him as magic, don´t we *o* ? Maybe he just need a bit of confidence in himself to learn to use it for bigger things than cleaning one dirty, but beautiful guy *O*
By now that we had become clean all three of us - no matter how we had become so - we hurried to enjoy the comfort of our very own broad, soft - LUXURIOUS - bed *O* The child being allowed to enjoy herself in the middle since we didn´t have a special bed for such a small person as Yasmina -o*

THE END

Eh ... my imaginary Johnny claims this was a bit of an abrupt ending - so ... if you want to know more about what happened to the persons in this story after Johnny, Yasmina and I finally came home you could read chapter 11 on the next page.
But I have a lesson (one on one) with the arch mage Raistlin Majere in half an hour. I am learning Independent Defensive Magic so as never to be caught with my pants down .. eh ... I mean, without my magic again *o* So I´ll run off and leave the telling of said last chapter to my imaginary sweetie pie *O*
... no, Johnny - not Billy Bob !!! You, my sweet - YOU *O*