Johnny stood staring at the man with his mouth hanging open. "De-de-dead!" he stammered.
"Yes, of course, you are! Who do you think I am? The Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus? Be real, man. You were speeding with alcohol in your blood - half asleep and with no seatbelt on - of course you are as dead as a doornail! Now come on! ... as I said I don´t have all night for this. I also have a South American general, an old SS colonel and a Bosnian ... whatever to fetch before dawn. They are all invited to the huge Halloween party tomorrow at Persephone´s palace. And so are you ... Although I can´t quite figure you out ... Come ON! Hieronymus Sage don´t wait for NO man - dead or alive!"
Johnny still didn´t understand and couldn't help arguing "But I can´t .. I don´t want to be dead ... I am suppose to go home to ....." Johnny could hear how that sounded and decided to shut up and take a deep breath before going on in a more grown-up tone of voice "Are you sure I am dead?"
"COME ON!!!!" Sage roared.
And Johnny felt too tired and hurting to try anymore arguments so he just walked sadly behind the angry man.
"I don´t suppose you can even call him a man ..." Johnny thought to himself "Death, then? No, I am not going to ask him. He´ll yell again and my head hurts so much. ... I want to go home!!! ... ouch? It even hurts to think ... I wish I could lie down at home - in my baby girlie´s arms and then she could kiss away the hurt - or at least kiss me. ... she would kill me if she knew I drove too fast and without the seatbelt on and ... But I am already dead ... If I am dead - then why do I hurt so much?"
Johnny tried asking Sage the last question. But was told to shut up again.
And then the man kept railing at dead people having no respect for Death anymore! "Just because  one of my colleagues took the job as Death in Pratchett´s Discworld everybody thinks he is an expert on death and dead people and ... But I won´t stand for that nonsense on my watch, young man! I fetched Hitler and - and Stalin and Idi Amin and - and .... So such small fry as yourself does hardly count in the big picture!"
After that outburst they just walked on and on in silence. And though the air temperature got warmer the surroundings also got more and more bleak and desolate to look at. And everything was bathed in a strange half light which made grey seem more like purple and white look like a sick yellow.
The withered tree looked sick and miserable. So Johnny felt both sick and very sorry for them. Normally he loved trees but these made him want to run away. Johnny couldn´t help thinking he had seen more beautiful places. And then had to fight back tears because he wanted to go back to those places again.
Just as he tried to wipe his nose in secret though the man in front of him said in a satisfied tone "Here we are! Caron!! You have a passenger!"
The ferryman's boat glided silently to fetch Johnny at the bank of the river Styx. After having received two quarters - the only coins Johnny had handy - Caron just as quietly rowed them across. Back on dry land the angry Sage disappeared to fetch somebody without as much as a goodbye or a wave. And Johnny thought that civil servants were apparently the same every where.
But now Johnny met an altogether different kind of employee though. After having climbed out off the boat with difficulty and going for some minutes in the direction Caron had pointed Johnny suddenly heard some large dogs barking. And after having turned a corner stood face to faces with a enormous three headed dog barking and snarling and showing three sets of very impressive teeth.
Johnny didn´t know whether to laugh, cried or scream. And since he felt he could hardly walk any longer he sank slowly to his knees and waited with bowed head for the dog to eat him.
A part of him yelled he was a sissy! A yellow livered chicken!! But the biggest part mumbled "I don´t care"
Then a fat, small chicken suddenly stuck it brown feather head in in front of Johnny´s minds´ eye and clucked worriedly "Johnny? Come on, sweetie ... Talk to the doggie - eh, dog. You are normally so good with all kind of animals - even those with two legs most of the time ... Don´t you feel sorry for the poor pooch? It must be very confusing having three heads - which one should chew the bone? And its ears must hurt with all that barking ..."
A small spark had lighted itself and Johnny lifted his head tiredly and looked at the big beast and said quietly "There, there, doggie. Why don´t you stop all that noise so we can talk about it? I do feel sorry for you ..." In the back of Johnny´s mind a small delighted cluck sounded and the chicken voice said "Good - good !!! Bye, darling! I have to go talk to a dog about a man ..."