It was about a week before Christmas - and everything was cold and quiet - except in this neck of the winter wood
A medium sized troll with green hair sat up in a tree which wasn´t even his in the first place and chewed absentmindedly on the tuft of soft hair on his tail tip.
This wood troll was feeling rather worried because a very angry man walked back and forth below the tree yelling at the most gorgeous woman Moosty - that´s our friend, the troll - had ever seen in his life
Moosty would have jumped down and said something to the face of the jerk a long time ago if it wasn´t for the fact that the guy clearly was inebriated ... So our good troll was afraid of making matters worse for the adorable little woman if he made the man even more mad
If Moosty had had a glib tongue and plenty of charm he thought he could probably have convinced the man that the moon is made of green cheese and only painted whitish by a artist who thought that looked better than bright green ....
And - what was more important in this case - that there was indeed better things in this world than scolding adorable wee chicks
But since he didn´t possess that kind of gab he just sat there and look at the pair below him - who was apparently oblivious to the fact that he was so near to them. At these the man was - Moosty had a feeling the woman had seen him ...
And the more he looked at this female human the more he decided he was really and truly in love ... This was the genuine thing! For the first time in his life he felt his whole being warming towards another creature. And then one had to sit here and listen to that ... telling her all manner of things!
It was really too much!
Not that Moosty could really hear all.
He was quite some way up in the tree and most of the time the couple talked in low tones and with their head bowed towards each other.
But the man was not at all nice to her. Finally the woman did seemed to have calmed the man somewhat though because he made an angry gesture for her to follow him and stalked off
And Moosty´s love just meekly follow in his footstep with her head hanging - the poor wee thing
Moosty was so mad now he accidentally bit himself hard in one of the fingers holding his tail. And he had to put the other hand in his mouth to keep from crying out and risk the man turning around and spotting him up in the tree.
Moosty had figured out by now that not only was the angry man probably drunk but also a wizard - not the safest combination if you made the guy furious
When his finger had stop hurting Moosty sat a little while and listened to the bird and animals of the wood starting to make noises again all around him in the wood. Now that the man had left they had a lot to say. And Moosty broke out in a big smile. They didn´t like the man either
After a while Moosty got down off the tree and went whistling on his way. A bit further down the road he stopped whistling though. Who was he kidding? Why on this green planet should any woman in her right mind - and so wonderful too - want to have anything to do with a monster like him ...
Even if the man she was with treated her like shi .. dirt
She would probably run screaming away the moment she saw him. Way before he managed to say hello ... And if he cornered her some place she would either faint from fright or slap his face hard if he stated he loved her
It isn´t always easy being a romantic troll with a tender heart
When Moosty spotted one of his old haunts - The Gay Fairy Queen - he turned away from the dusty road to get a drink or two. And perhaps he also stopped there because he had a very slender, slim hope that the wizard and the Goddess-like girl Moosty had seen in the wood would be inside
But they were not
The hostess Mab wasn´t even in. And the grumpy bartender pointed out that Mab was his wife now! Almost holding up a "Hands Off" sign in front of Moosty. Who could only say "O.K. O.K. Just asking ..." Wondering what was wrong with the man. Mab and Moosty were only good friends after all?
Then a deep voice rumbled "As I live and breath ... Ain´t this stranger my old friend Moosty - the broken hearts´ expert back from the big city to visit his old hunting grounds - ha-ha. Come on, Moosty. Let´s leave Walter to polishing his glasses and grab a table and shoot the breeze over a couple of beers
While hearing these words Moosty felt himself lifted off his feet in a bear - nay, troll - hug by his old friend the mountain troll Billy Bob Murphy. When Moosty could draw his breath again he hugged his buddy right back.
And then they did go over to a table in a corner and sat down to talk about what had happened since last time
Billy Bob talked about life being kinda hard - what with the trolls´ rebellion up in the mountains not going that well. Duke Benito had send huge forces in on behalf of emperor Orantesh. And only the fact that the trolls were very adept at hiding themselves in the caves and woods had left any alive
Moosty felt very sorry for the trolls and sat trying to batter the lump in his throat down before Billy Bob would notice any tears in his eyes. After a bit Billy Bob blew his nose - and it sounded pretty much like one of the duke´s war trumpets sounding the attack - and then the big troll smiled and grumbled "But enough sad news. You ran off with the circus and last I heard you were a big success at the court in Ixt. How are you these days, my friend
So Moosty told a bit about juggling and do acrobatics and singing while playing a harp. Tried to make it sound like a fabulous adventure. But after a while Billy Bob said quietly "It is a pretty hard job trying to please all, isn´t it, my lad?"
So Moosty had to get up and go to the bathroom - that damn lump again, you know ... And this time said lump even had to do with self-pity which is NOT allowed no matter how appropriate it might be ... Strangely enough, though - because we are always encourage to feel pity and compassion for other people. But the moment we feel sorry for ourselves too it is wrong ... Well, that must be one of life´s big - eh, small - mysteries
When Moosty came back to the table Billy Bob was talking to a young female troll who went off with a giggle when Moosty came over. And since that reminded him of the wonderful apparition he had seen in the wood he tried asking Billy Bob if he knew who the man and woman was
But unfortunately he could only describe the woman in exuberant terms like "She is really the most gorgeous, marvellous, unique - little baby girlie, I´ve ever clapped eyes on ..."
Which made Billy Bob giggle "Oh, boy, you are in love again! ... poor silly Moosty" Moosty told his friend with a friendly smile to shut the .... up and then tried to describe the man "He´s probably six feet - erm - that was a bit difficult to eh - determine since I saw him - like from the top. He had dark hair and I did manage to see, he has one of those little - you know ... square beards around his mouth. He was a wizard - definitely a wizard! Wore a dark blue robe over his normal clothes ... Ehrm - I could of course not see his eye colour, but ... I guess, this isn´t much help"
"Well ... maybe" Billy Bob scratched his chin "It does sound like young Landorkin. He is hot headed and dark haired. Like some other people I could mention - normally, that is. Yes, yes, I´ll shut up. ... last time I saw Landorkin he was with a gorgeous human female - princess A-oodaq. She is rather something to look at although I wouldn´t call her little ... They could hardly keep their hands and mouths off each other and ... Sorry, my friend, I shouldn´t have said that last bit ... I am a dumb old troll, I guess
Moosty said, Billy Bob was nothing of the kind. And then ordered another round. And then another. What the Hell - wasn´t he the big star home on a visit from the big city
But the liquor didn´t help at all.
So after several rounds Moosty said goodbye to Billy Bob and four of their friends who had turned up at the table in the meantime and staggered out into the cold of the night.