Happy Halloween? - chapter eleven.

So off they went. By divine magic to the Augean stable in the mythological ancient Greece. With Meeps sneezing and sneezing because she was allergic to Aphrodite´s kind of magic dust ...
Well there the two humans got rather surprised because the "stable" were an imposing building with pillars and columns and white marble everywhere. Two huge gates stood wide open in each end of the building. And a smallish river - actually more of a fast running stream - ran through the whole building.
Aphrodite put Johnny and Meeps down on the ground and said - hugging them both - "Easy, kids. I am sure you can do this. ... Hermes usually know what he is doing - and he loves getting in Apollo´s way so I am sure you can do this somehow"
She gave them one more motherly kiss and hug each. And told Meeps with a little smile to stop acting - the magic dust wasn´t that bad - and then joined the rest of the gods up on the little white fluffy clouds above where they were having a rather noisy picnic drinking Bacchus´ wine.
"We can´t do this, Meeps" Johnny sighed "Two people can´t deflect a river´s course. ... you need engineers and machines and ... I don´t know - but more than just you and me, baby girlie, to do that ... Will you see those cows?" Johnny said amazed looking up at the slopes on both side of the stable.
The cows in question were sitting at little round marble and iron tables of the kind you have on sidewalk cafés and drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and apparently discussing whether or not the two puny humans would succeed.
"Quiet, sweetie ... I am trying to concentrated" Meeps said sounding rather preoccupied. Then Johnny heard her mumbling "I want worms! I want worms!! I want ..." Johnny was about to remind his chicken that she hated worms - to eat that is - and only really loved bookworms like himself when she suddenly turned into a bird.
As such she was wearing her normal brown and red chicken feathers, but was actually much taller and quite broader than Johnny ...
Still mumbling about the worms this giant barn yard fowl went over and started to scratch furiously in the earth works Hercules once upon a time had thrown up in order to make the river run in through the stable.
Johnny after a moment went over to help - although human hands are not nearly as good at that kind of work as chicken claws - and Cerberus suddenly came bounding up beside him yapping "Do you think there´s any bones buried there" with a big canine grin.
So Meeps, Cerberus and Johnny dug all they could.
And Apollo and his sister were close to having a stroke out of fury - if gods could have that, that is. Hermes on the other hand smiled quietly and demanded his money from a miffed Poseidon who had bet a 1000 bucks that the humans wouldn´t be able to do the job.
Aphrodite laughed delighted and smack a "high five" with a surprised Athena - surprised that a Greek goddess knew how to do that. Hera having finally arrived nodded happily at the clever kiddies. And by her side Zeus sighed deeply. He just knew Apollo would go on and on afterwards about Hermes having some how tricked him ...
Hades in the background quietly kissed his wife and forgave her for her part in this juvenile little intrigue which had consisted of having changed Jacques Dapp´s name in the computer so it read J. C. Depp instead. He knew how easy it was to persuade his wife into doing things - even things she shouldn't. After all he had done so often enough himself ...
And Artemis could be a very clever young lady.
... Hades was also rather happy - although he would never having admitted to the feeling publicly - that Dapp had saved his life because of this silly charade. The fearsome mercenary brought many costumers to Hades´ door - was in short "good for business" - so all in all the god of the dead was feeling quite pleased.
Then all of a sudden everybody heard Bacchus giggle loudly and drunkenly. And all turned their attention back to the ground.
The earth Meeps had been standing on had become eroded by the water and with a small sigh gave way and made the big bird slide into the by now raging stream.
Johnny turned around and saw her flapping around in the water way too scared to think of saving herself and immediately jumped in. His Meeps loved water - to drink - where as Johnny preferred to swim in it. And same Meeps had never learned how to swim. And especially not in chicken feathers definitely not designed for water sports.
"Now we are both going to died. ... but at least we will be together this time" our romantic little hero thought panicky as he tried to calm Meeps and hold her above water at the same time. A task not made easier by the fact that she was still a gigantic bird.
"Shrink, will you" Johnny screamed over the roaring off the water "Or get human at least!" he sighed.
But Meeps didn´t react - probably didn´t hear because she was so scared. And they both went under for a long moment ... Then Johnny suddenly felt strong dog teeth grapping the collar of his shirt and Cerberus voice mumbled behind his head "Come here, my wee puppy" Johnny went limp trying to help the dog. Only holding on to Meeps all he could.
Then Cerberus rumbling voice said "Wake up, Johnny. You better go home to Meeps if all you want to do is sleep - or better still - I´ll drive us both home"
Johnny opened his eyes slowly. He wasn´t in a small river drowning - he was at the hotel sitting in the way too comfy couch. Somebody had taken the cigarette out of his hand before he had burn a hole in the fabric of same nice piece of furniture. But the drink lay spilled on the floor.
It was not Cerberus smiling at him though. But his good friend Billy Bob who now helped him up on his feet and took him outside to the troll´s car.
And a bit later my sweet Johnny woke me with a gentle kiss.
Arsenic and Old Lace had been over for a long while and the story had indeed reconstructed itself beyond all boundaries ...