--------------

Last night I was about to enjoy my brand new video of From Hell, when my good friend alien space truck driver Tussy MacGuffin and her rather new imaginary boyfriend Johnny knocked on my door.
My imaginary sweet Johnny eagerly grapped this nice visit as an excuse to go down at the local establishment and have a few drinks with his identical twin - Tussy´s Johnny, that is - seeing it as an opportunity for not having to sit and listen to me going on about how sweet and lovely and beautiful and gorgeous and - and ... Moment! Sorry *o* I had to wipe the drool away before it hit the keyboard - the real life Johnny Depp is in his role of Frederick Abberline.
But my sweet darling of course claimed, that they only left because Tussy and I naturally would want to talk girl talk having not seen each other in a while. Looking very innocent and virtues as he stated that.
Then he probably guessed that I didn´t quite believed what he has just said, because he added with a small giggle and wink at me "We will be back when you broads have had a chance to cool down somewhat - having taken a cold shower perhaps"
Sweet guy, isn´t he -o* ?
So Tussy and I sat and watch the video and gawked and gushed and wondered at how this guy - John Christopher Depp the second - still manage to look all of fourteen sometimes *O*
But From Hell is a rather long movie. So I stopped the video about half way through and went out into the kitchen for refreshments while Tussy idly watched MTV.
When I came back to the living room the screen were just showing the last of the commercial for the new movie Men in Black II and Tussy said quite seriously "Did you know those guys are for real ... They threw Johnny and me out of the states last week"
"A-what ..." I asked - looking very smart with my chin hanging down around my knees from sheer amazement.
"Oh yes" Tussy stated calmly "We landed the space truck in a secluded spot in a swamp somewhere - I have done that before - then walked about two miles to a small town where we rented a car and drove to Miami some twenty miles further down the road My Johnny wanted to show me both Miami and Miramar, where he grew up - that is, the really Johnny Depp grew up - but that is the same, you know"
I of course did. And asked her please to skip to the chase. "Had Will Smith really shown up and told them to leave?
"No!" Tussy sounded rather impatient with me "Mr. Smith is a Hollywood actor. Not a real secret government agent. ... you know that, Meeps! DO try and keep reality and imagination separated, will you !?!"
I promise to try. But also asked her to go on.
So she told me that all had gone fine until Johnny and she had met this guy - Joe Tancos - who quite clearly didn´t like Johnny. Tussy´s Johnny told her that there had been some disagreement way back about a girl who would much rather be with Johnny than this guy.
Tussy didn´t think much of it at the time. Just agreed with the girl. Tussy preferred Johnny too -o*
But then these "men in black" showed up at Johnny and Tussy´s motel room the next day and told them they were illegal aliens and had to leave the States. Apparently this Joe guy had call the authorities and claimed somebody was impersonating Johnny Depp in and about Miami.
Must be impersonating him, since everybody knows for a fact that - or at least according to Vickisburg Gazette - same Mr. Depp is in London, Great Britain at the moment making a movie about the author of Peter Pan ...
Tussy hurriedly stepped forward and said, she had her papers right here - or at least had them somewhere down here in her rather big bag. But one of the agents just answered rather coldly "Yes, Ma´am. But he" here he nodded in Johnny´s direction "hasn´t proper papers ... So I am afraid you have to leave at once, Ma'am"
At first Johnny looked like he was about to explode. But then he said "We better do as they say, luv'. After September 11 the Americans are on their toes - so to speak - and want to make sure nobody, but nobody is in this country who isn´t allowed to be. ... Let´s just hope that is enough to make this country secure"
So Tussy and Johnny left. They were even driven by the agents to her space truck and then escorted out of American air space by fighter plains just to make sure they left ...
Can you imagining ???
Anybody getting the idea that Tussy and Johnny are terrorist ... O.K. Tussy can be a pest with all her questions about Johnny this and Johnny that and did make that little stunt in Egypt, but ...
And a bored Johnny is bound to make some sort of prank on you sooner or later - like pouring ice cold water down my back in a moment - he *o*
But terrorist ...
O.K. - O.K. *o* I do understand the Americans. They have to be careful of course. What just makes me so very, very curious is why they thought Johnny was a alien ...
Admitted - he is one of a kind *o* Quite unique in my opinion *O* And wonderful and marvellous and adorable and ARGH!!! JOHNNY !!! ..... uh - that water was sooo cold ... There was even still ice cubes in your glass - really, baby ... He *o*
As I said; a bored Johnny will think up some little boy mischief *O* But still - an alien ... And a terrorist to boot! Nonsense !!
There is of course the Greek - erm, Olympian Connection ... Remember? I claimed a while back that Johnny somehow is descending from the Greek love goddess Aphrodite -o* ?
And the Olympian gods are certainly not ordinary people - they are as alien as humanly possible ... Tshee-hee-hee *O*
Just look at their Godfather Zeus - I mean, the father of the gods -o* He is always disguising himself as some animal or other when he conduct his love affairs with different women and goddesses. Either the man - sorry, god - has major issues about his looks and/or he is trying to hide how good looking he really is ...
That last reason sounds familiar somehow - wonder why?
Tshee-hee *O*
But same Zeusie-boy can also throw a rather mean lightning bolt without even burning his fingers and that is not something you see everyday. Furthermore he can ... What, uncle Hermes? He doesn´t have that much sense of humour either. No, that I´ll believe *O*
Eh - oh, you mean, he´ll ... throw said lightning - bolt ... if I go on make - cluck - fun of him ... Point taken - CLUCK!
Erm .....
But - my imaginary sweetie has just reminded me that the real life Johnny can come and go as he please in his native land America, so he apparently doesn´t have a cute alien among the Cherokees, Irishmen and Germans of his ancestors ...
Either that, my imaginary Johnny also giggles, or the real Mr. Johnny Depp just have his alien resident permit papers in perfect order *O*
Well - it is up to you how much you will believe of this my if not tall at least long tale. Tussy MacGuffin is universally famous for telling some great big whoppers at time *o*
And though her Johnny later confirmed every word she had said he is bound to do so - already being in love with the sweet Tussy and quite a story teller himself -o*