Why Johnny smokes so much

I visited my friend Hope the other day and one giggle took another so before we knew it we had a story about what dragonflies really are -O*
You see, Johnny has this little friend who is a dragonfly - but a dragonfly with a difference.
Norbert enjoys life hanging on to the belt straps on a pair of Johnny´s pants made out to looking like military fatigues looking around for pretty lady dragonflies.
There is especially one called Lucinda with dreamy eyes and a tail to die for. But she works for a lady who doesn´t smoke that much, so most of the time she is in this lady´s purse and Norbert can´t stare at her admiringly
But Norbert´s friend and in a way employer gives him romantic advice how to get close to the little dainty dragon miss
Norbert´s employer is very well suited to give romantic advice seeing he is the famous heartthrob Johnny Depp who knows just how to make women swoon
And since he is also a very nice guy he is always willing to try to give advice to his little friend as long as Norbert light his cigarettes when ever Johnny asks. That way Johnny don´t have to remember to buy lighter fluid and such boring things
All the actor has do is make sure that the fried flies which is Norbert favorite food is properly spiced with chilli pepper and other hot stuff then the little dragon spits all the fire a chain smoking guy needs
But actually they both have a problem now
Because Johnny is really trying to lay off smoking or at least cut down a bit since he now has two small children. And people in general around him doesn´t like his smoking that much either. And that is of course all very well for his health
But the poor little Norbert has to let out steam - erm - fire once in a while or he get rather sick. So now a days he is almost constantly whispering from around Johnny´s belt or from his pocket "Please you don´t think you need a smoke round about now? I mean I really need to ... you know. Please? Pretty please ... JOHNNY! Now!! ... or I might burn a hole in your pocket"
The worse episode yet was at a party in London.
Actually a very fancy affair with lords and ladies and even a prince or two but the poor silly little Norbert had gotten a very awful bellyache.
Johnny couldn´t understand why he kept wriggling around down in his pocket and when asked Norbert at first wouldn´t answer. Finally he mumbled that it perhaps had to do with all the extra chilli pepper Johnny had given him for dinner just to make sure there was light enough for a looooong evening and perhaps some of the night.
Yes well Johnny mumbled back into to the pocket "But you have got that much before and still kept still. ... people are beginning to look! and wondering what I have in my pocket ..."
And as strangely as it may sounds - with Johnny´s very good looks - he has never gotten quite use to people looking at him
Norbert felt a bit sorry for his shy friend and taking a deep breath confessed "O.K. - O.K. it might have a little bit to do with - erm - I saw Lucinda back there. She ... eh - was lighting some candles for the hostess and didn´t see me at all ... What do I do, Johnny? Oh, my stomach hurts!"
"Yes, what do you do ..." Johnny said absent-mindedly and brought Norbert out of his pocket "Let me get a light on and I will see what can be done about it. Here we YIKES !!!"
Here wretched little Norbert´s bellyache got the better of him and he let out a very small fart to take off the pressure at the same time as he spit out a flame to oblige his friend. And suddenly both were black in the face because there had been a small explosion between them.
Luckily Johnny Depp has always been able to laugh at himself so after a moment of stunned silence an explosion of laughter followed the real explosion.
And luckily too for the embarrassed little dragonfly in love Lucinda came flying over very fast and landing on Johnny´s shoulder yelled "Norbert. Norbert, darling, are you O.K.??"
So now Johnny has two dragonflies who is even expecting little dragonfly-babies soon ...
And the poor guy is still no nearer to stop smoking since he has two little dragonflies who have to spit fire from time to time - and with the babies to come it will probably get even worse...
I am sure you see the problem -O*