My "Ichabod" in trouble.

Now I have from time to time made you giggle a bit by telling you some thing or other about what me and my imaginary Johnny are up to - and now I am having really "evil" plan´s of making you giggle again ... Tshee *O*
So if you only read sane, serious stories you better close this one right now and move on -o*
Oh - and perhaps you should also close this if you are really very, very scared of spiders ... He *o* But - if you haven't left by now - here we go:
The day before yesterday I was cleaning house and during that boring, but necessary activity removed some spider´s webs from certain not that often visited crooks and crannies of my flat ...
And you should have heard those spiders who had diligently made those webs swear as they left ... Boy, were they mad because I ruining both their homes and their livelihood!
One even swore in what sounded to me like Russian - imagine that?
And the last spider turned in the door and hissed "You´ll be sorry for this! We will spread the word and every time you are eating soup you´ll find a dead fly in it - with our compliments!"
... hi?
... I know the mob has been compared to a spiders web - but this is downright silly ... Oh, O.K. - it is my story after all, so no wonder it is silly -O*
After that statement I looked over at my imaginary Johnny standing nearby with a duster in his lovely hand and looking a bit nervous. And I tried to comfort him by saying "They are only tiny creatures - don´t let your imagination run away with you, sweetie"
He nodded. And then said slowly "No, I am not going to faint - I am not Ichabod after all and not afraid of spiders ... Not that much anyway - and not the smaller Danish kind of spiders. Although I couldn´t take them in my hands as you do and put them outside. But I am glad you do, my sweet Meeps. They have a right to live too - just as long as it isn´t right here ..."
I smiled at him and kissed his cheek and we finished cleaning.
And I had frankly forgot about this until Johnny woke me last night because he was tossing and turning in our bed quite clearly having a nightmare.
He was mumbling "But, Ma´am ... Tim told me to say that! It was part of the role and - and ... Tim didn´t mean any harm by it either - it was only a bit of fun, Ma´am. Please believe me ... And the spider was a stunt man - erm, stunt spider. Use to that sort of things and nothing happen to it - her ... I promise!"
After that the dream seems to get even worse and I hurried to kiss my baby and wake him up.
For a while after that I just held and kissed my Johnny boy and tried to get him to talk about the dream. But he said I would die laughing if he did - and although he figure that a nice death - as deaths come - he very much preferred me alive ... That was of course very nicely put indeed and earned him some more kisses *o*
But I also said that I was sure - after what I had already heard - that I wouldn´t laugh. And I was even more sure that my darling would feel better if he talked about the whole thing.
So finally he sat up in bed, lit a cigarette and told me this:
"I was back at the Boston court room - but instead of Christopher Lee telling me to go to Sleepy Hollow and pick dandelions - I mean; look at the murders - a huuuuge hairy spider sat in the judge´s seat and told me that I was going to be sentenced for the murder of a poor innocence little spider in the movie "Sleepy Hollow""
Here I reminded him that the spider doesn´t get killed in that movie. And actually plays an important part in the plot which should make every spider proud.
"Hmmm ... Yes, that´s true enough, babe" my Johnny admitted and took another puff at his comforting smoke "You are right there, baby girlie. But even though I tried to defend myself she - the spider judge - sentenced me to twelve rounds in the ring ... Claiming that a very fit punishment for a "flyweight human" like me ... I had to go up against another enormous hairy - male? - spider with boxing gloves on four legs. And even if it had to once in a while put one of those four legs down to help the other four legs to keep its balance there was no way I could win that fight! I am not that good at boxing in the first place and it was bigger and - and ... I do believe the spiders were going to eat this fly guy at the end of the fight, because they were setting a long table up to one side of the ring ... And - and ... Oh, I am glad you woke me up there" my baby ended and kissed me thoroughly as a thank you.
During this kiss my free hand went exploring down around Johnny´s navel trying to ascertain whether or not the elastic band in his boxers were tight or could be pulled down. And then - when I found it could I - eh ...
O.K. maybe I better leave the rest to your amble imaginations - so this page doesn´t have to blush more than it already does -o* ... but let me only say this; his underwear could be removed and mine disappeared like a dream too *O*
Warm, bam, thank you, my dear spiders *O*